FORGIVENESS

Topic: FORGIVENESS   Scripture (Text): Mat 18:21-35 (NIV)

Preacher: Pr. Obwanga Stephen  

Introduction,

It is impossible to live on this fallen planet without getting hurt, offended, misunderstood, lied to, and rejected. So Learning on how to respond properly is one of the basics of the Christian life.

The word “forgive” means to wipe the slate clean, to pardon, to cancel a debt. When we wrong someone, we seek his or her forgiveness in order for the relationship to be restored. It is important to remember that forgiveness is not granted because a person deserves to be forgiven. Instead, it is an act of love, mercy, and grace.

The Biblical Definition of Forgiveness

Is In Matthew 6:14 Jesus shows us what forgiveness really is: “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” 

 The Greek word for forgive is “aphiēmi” which means “to send away,” to “depart,” or “to yield up” which means you send away from ever being in the presence of either party.  That means that if my brother offends me and I forgive him, then I “send away” the offense from myself and from him so that it is never brought up again.  If a person keeps bringing the same offense up then they have never really sent it away or they haven’t truly forgiven you.   True biblical and godly forgiveness is this; “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom 5:8) and “while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life”

What if I don’t feel like forgiving others?
There are times we don’t feel like forgiving those who have wronged us. It is easier to act our way into feeling than to feel our way into acting. Having a nature of not forgiving others brings about bitterness, and bitterness has been linked to stress-related illnesses by some medical researchers. By forgiving others, we free ourselves spiritually and emotionally. Forgiveness is an act of our own personal will in obedience and submission to God’s will, trusting God to bring emotional healing.

Five misconceptions about forgiveness

1) What Forgiveness Is Not: Play Acting For Show...

·  Remember when as a child you were forced by some adult to "forgive" someone who was first forced to "say sorry" to you? Is this really repentance by the performer... or forgiveness by the victim? Well, perhaps so--in a few rare cases. But let us be honest and acknowledge that this charade by children is more often a temporary cessation of hostilities for the sake of the grown-ups, with the full intent to do more of the same violence (and not get caught) and/or get revenge later--when beyond the adult's watchful eye.

·  Adults force children through this ritual because strife in a family or group of kids is an unbearable pain; and they want to teach. Play-acting does give at least a temporary reprieve. But God's pain is more acute when He sees our strife with each other, and His solution aims a little deeper than mere words or mimicry or delay or coating over. For He is aiming not at hypocritical play-acting, but at truth from the inside out.

Mark 7:6 (Phi) Jesus replied, "You hypocrites, Isaiah described you beautifully when he wrote: 'These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.' These teachings are but rules made by men."

2) Is Denial Forgiveness?

·  The inability to really forgive is often due to a false concept that "forgetting is forgiving". Forgetting is NOT forgiving. To be sure, if we forgive we will forget as a result. But the reverse is not true: forgetting is not forgiving--it is denial.

Ps 51:6 (NAS) Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being...

·  If we attempt to achieve a bogus forgiveness by deliberately putting "out of mind" the offense, we might be fooling ourselves and others that we have "forgiven". But all of the emotions and plots and hurt are still there--only held back by force of will in deliberated denial. But then we see "that person" again and all the bitterness and pain rise up again within us. Or, in the off moment--when such mental gymnastics cannot be maintained--we catch ourselves in an elaborate meditation of revenge or fit of rage and anger. Then we see just how deep and effective this sort of "forgiveness" is.

·  A mind "bent" by denial has a nasty habit of "snapping back" in the worst of moments.

1 Jn 2:9 (Wey) Any one who professes to be in the light and yet hates his brother is still in darkness.

·  Denial is merely a delusion: flimsy, fake, and shallow. Forgiveness is real: robust and solid and deep. It is not an avoiding of the truth, but a dealing with it squarely, however painful.

·  Consider God's perspective. Nothing is hidden from His sight: the evil intent, the hidden lust, the damage done, the choosing of that which is wrong, etc. And yet He is the author and originator of forgiveness. If we are going to really forgive, we are going to have to do it His way: with our eyes open.

·  For those God chooses to forgive, He will "forget" their sins, "remembering them no more". But let us not accuse the omniscient God of not knowing something or of being ignorant of any fact. He has told us that nothing is beyond His sight. Rather let us understand the "figure of speech" and spiritual dynamic of how God forgives.

Heb 8:12 (NIV) "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more."

·  The order here is essential. Forgiveness first, forgetting second. Until real forgiveness takes place, the offense is "in our faces" as regards that person, and it is the same with God. The sin comes between us, and cannot be "forgotten" until dealt with. If and when we enter into true forgiveness, we can then regard the person without the "offense" looming first and foremost between us.

Isa 43:25 (NIV) "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more."

3) Impediments To Forgiveness: The Lure Of Sin

·  Another impediment to forgiveness is that bitterness, revenge, hatred, etc. have a perverted sort of appeal. Who has not felt the intoxicating lure of a grandiose meditation of scorching retribution? While we know this is wrong, it sure is great fun in the moment to fondle such thoughts.

Eph 4:26-27,31 (NIV) "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold... Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

4) Vengeance Is The Lord's... But Only If He Acts As My Agent?

Rom 12:19 (NIV) Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

·  Surely God has more power to pour wrath on our enemies than we do, and He surely sees the evil done all too clearly. So the thought may strike us to let Him do the dirty work. But when we think this through, it may not turn out as the carnal man within us might like. For let us face the plain fact that God has this habit of forgiving people and extending great mercy, at least for the time being.

·  So... we may not see fire from heaven come down to consume those we wish would receive God's vengeance. It is not that He is letting them off by some magic or deflection of mind, it is just that He may take the painful punishment Himself.

Prov 24:17 (NAS) Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles.

Mat 5:44-45 (NEB) "But what I tell you is this: love your enemies and pray for your persecutors; only so can you be like children of your heavenly Father, who makes his sun rise on good and bad alike, and sends the rain on the honest and the dishonest. If you love only those who love you, what reward can you expect? Surely the tax-gatherers do as much as that. And if you greet only your brothers, what is there extraordinary about that? Even the heathen do as much. There must be no limit to your goodness, as your heavenly Father's goodness knows no bounds."

·  Let us "count the cost" of letting God deal with our "enemies". He may bless them, prosper them, and save their eternal souls, rather than strike them dead with a lightning bolt. For this is what God is like, and what He is "up to" just now. And this may not satisfy our sense of what should happen. If we "let go and let God", He may well forgive and bless and love those we have plotted against and smoldered in hatred for, and even give us this same "foolish" (1 Cor 1:25) mindset.

Luke 17:3-5 (Phi) "So be careful how you live. If your brother offends you, take him to task about it, and if he is sorry, forgive him. Yes, if he wrongs you seven times in one day and turns to you and says, 'I am sorry' seven times, you must forgive him. And the apostles said to the Lord, 'give us more faith.'"

5) Is Real Forgiveness Humanly Possible?

·  It has been said, "To err is human, to forgive divine." There is a truth in this.

Luke 7:49 (GLT) And those reclining with Him began to say within themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?"

·  For what "seems right to a man" (Prov 16:25) is revenge. If the offense is not avenged, will not the perpetrator be sanctioned in his behavior to do more of the same? What about justice and fairness? Does forgiveness even "work" at a mere human level? What would happen to our society if everyone REALLY did this? Is "loving our enemies" something that appeals to our sensibilities? Does it even make any sense to the natural man?

Mat 9:5-6 (NIV) Which is easier: to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up and walk'? But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins..." Then he said to the paralytic, "Get up, take your mat and go home."

Authorized By Grace... We Can Do What God Does

Col 3:12-13 (Jer) You are God's chosen race, his saints; he loves you, and you should be clothed in sincere compassion, in kindness and humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with one another; forgive each other as soon as a quarrel begins. The Lord has forgiven you; now you must do the same.
1 Pet 2:21-23 (NEB) To that you were called, because Christ suffered on your behalf, and thereby left you an example; it is for you to follow in his steps. He committed no sin, he was convicted of no falsehood; when he was abused he did not retort with abuse, when he suffered he uttered no threats, but committed his cause to the One who judges justly.
1 Pet 3:9 (NEB) Do not repay wrong with wrong, or abuse with abuse; on the contrary, retaliate with blessing, for a blessing is the inheritance to which you yourselves have been called.
Luke 6:27-37 (NRS) "But I say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you... Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same... But love your enemies, do good... and your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful... Forgive, and you will be forgiven."
Eph 4:31-32 (Phi) Let there be no more bitter resentment or anger, no more shouting or slander, and let there be no bad feeling of any kind among you. Be kind to each other, be compassionate. Be as ready to forgive others as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.
Heb 12:15 (Jer) Be careful that no one is deprived of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness should begin to grow and make trouble; this can poison a whole community.
Rom 12:17-21 (Phi) Don't pay back a bad turn by a bad turn, to anyone. See that your public behavior is above criticism. As far as your responsibility goes, live at peace with everyone. Never take vengeance into your own hands, my dear friends: stand back and let God punish if he will. For it is written: "It is mine to avenge, I will repay," says the Lord. And it is also written: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Don't allow yourself to be overpowered by evil. Take the offensive--overpower evil with good!

Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

it is if you are not forgiving of others then you may not have been forgiven of your sins in the first place. You could read verse 16 like this to make sense of this; “if you have not forgiven others their trespasses, neither has your Father not forgiven your trespasses” because remember to forgive is to “release, to send away or to yield up.”

Psalm 51:7, 9 “Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.  Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Remember What We Have Been Forgiven From!

((((((Mat 18:21-27 (NIV) Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. "The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go."
Mat 18:28-35 (NIV) "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow-servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. His fellow-servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow-servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.")))))))

· Where this servant failed, then, is in FORGETTING the merciful treatment His master gave him. He FORGOT the great sin he was forgiven of.

2 Pet 1:9 (NAS) ...For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins.

1Sam 16:7 (NIV) ...The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."